(by Harry Champion)

I was weaned on cucumber and
  on my wedding day
When the fun was over and the
  guests had gone away
My old darling said to me "You 
  must be hungry Joe!
Is there anything you fancy?" I said, 
  "Fancy, Don't you know?"
	"I like pickled onions, 
	I like piccalilli
	Pickled cabbage is all right
	With a bit of cold meat 
	  on Sunday night
	I can grow termartoeses, 
	but what I do prefer
	Is a little bit of cu-cum 
	  cu-cum cu-cum
	Little bit of cu-cum-ber.'
I went flying in the air with
  my old college chum
Suddenly he said to me "We're
  bound for kingdom come!
Have you anything on your brain be-
  -fore you wear a crown?"
I began to shake and said "Write
  this confession down."
	"I like pickled onions, ...
	... with a bit of cold tripe ...
	... little bit of cu-cum
	  cummy-cummy cum-cum ...

Several years of married life have
  brought me lots of joys
I don't know how many girls, but
  think there's fourteen boys
When the last one came to town, it 
  nearly turned my head
He was marked with a cucumber and the 
  first words that he said was:

	"I like pickled onions, ...
	... with bubble and squeak ...
	... I can grow tommyartoeses ...
	... little bit of cu-cum
	  cum-cummidy cum-cum ...

To the lord Mayor's banquet I went
  in one foggy day
When I saw the grub it took my
  appetite away
With sparrowgrass and chaffinches and
  pigs-head stuffed with jam
I said "I don't care for that -- You 
  don't know who I am!"
	"I like pickled onions, ...
	... with a bit of cold meat ...
	... I can grow tommyartoeses ...
	... little bit of cu-cum
	  I cum you cum ...

	"I like pickled onions, ...

recording: Harry Champion [YouTube]

history: song history [Folk Song and Music Hall]