Plant a radish, get a radish
Never any doubt
That's why I love vegetables:
You know what you're about!
Plant a turnip, get a turnip
Maybe you'll get two
That's why I love vegetables:
You know that they'll come through!
They're dependable!
They're befriendable!
They're the best pal a parent's ever
known
While with children,
it's bewilderin'
You don't know until the seed is nearly
grown just what you've sown
So plant a carrot, get a carrot
Not a Brussels sprout.
That's why I love vegetables:
You know what you're about!
Life is merry, if it's very
Vegetarian!
A man who plants a garden is a
Very happy man!
Plant a beanstalk, get a beanstalk
Just the same as Jack
Then if you don't like it,
You can always take it back!
But if your issue doesn't kiss you,
Then I wish you luck
'Cause once you've planted children,
You're absolutely stuck!
Every turnip green!
Every kidney bean!
Every plant grows according to the
plot!
While with progeny,
It's hodge-podgenee...
For as soon as you think you know what kind you've
got, it's what they're not!
So plant a cabbage, get a cabbage
Not a sauerkraut!
That's why I love vegetables:
You know what you're about!
Life is merry, if it's very
Vegetarian!
A man who plants a garden is a
Very happy man!
A ve-gi-tar-i-
Very merry
Ve--ge--
-tar--i--
-an!
recording: Bert Lahr & Stanley Holloway (1964) [YouTube]