Montague Plough Monday PLAY

(written by Will Quale,
performed by the Montague Mummers, Plough Monday 2021)

(with thanks to Piers & Gil Cawley, Rodney Atkins, Jean Rohe,
Saro Lynch-Thomason, and Lissa Schneckenburger for their songs)

*** BETTY, a Child of the Library, & ISAAC, a Friend with Tractor, enter ***

BETTY & ISAAC

	Room, room, brave gallants, make room for us today
	'Tis every day we sing, but once a year we give a play

BETTY

	In comes I, a Child of the Library 
	Now and forevermore
	My library teaches you about freedom, 
	So don't say you can't afford it anymore!

ISAAC

	And passing through from out of town, 
	In comes I, your Friend With Tractor
	Whatever trouble you're in, 
	I'll pull you out and give you a happily ever after!

BETTY & ISAAC

	But if you don't believe what we say,
	Enter our Democracy and clear the way!


*** DEMOCRACY enters, wearing a bathrobe & carrying a ballot box ***

DEMOCRACY

	Here I stand in Washington, 
	With my box of votes
	I represent all the people, 
	No matter how much that White Russian gloats
	Change is coming to Washington, 
	As soon new Senators come a-ridin'
	The votes in my ballot box are certified, 
	And those votes say The Dude's A-Biden!

*** JON & THE REVEREND, Senators, enter carrying signs ***

JON & THE REVEREND

	To Washington we come, heroes bold and triumphant
	The people of Georgia have chosen us over their two incumbents!

JON

	John Lewis was my mentor
	When I was but seventeen
	Now I return to Washington as Senator Jon, 
	As our new Congress convenes

THE REVEREND

	And as the pastor to John Lewis, 
	I helped guide him on his way
	But his spirit guides me ever onwards 
	As a Senator today

JON & THE REVEREND

	Our great responsibility 
	To be guardians of our liberty
	'Til tyrants bow to the people's dream 
	And justice flows like a mighty stream


*** QANON SHAMAN enters wearing a horned hat & carrying a sign ***

QANON SHAMAN

	Stop the steal! Stop the steal! 
	To Washington will I come on,
	A terrifying buffalo faux-viking clown, 
	A fascist shaman from QAnon!
	I follow my leader's every tweet
	And I'll make those ballots into mince pies to eat!

ALL (except Shaman)

	Mince pies baked, mince pies fried,
	He'll try to kill the ballots though they've all been certified!

*** THEY FIGHT : well away from DEMOCRACY ***
JON and THE REVEREND

	We will wade through the waters!

*** THEY FIGHT : moving closer to DEMOCRACY ***
JON and THE REVEREND

	We will walk through the fires!

*** THEY FIGHT : moving still closer to DEMOCRACY ***
JON and THE REVEREND

	We will rebuild the mountains!

*** QANON SHAMAN strikes DEMOCRACY ***
QANON SHAMAN

	There are more waters rising!

JON and THE REVEREND

	Horrible, terrible, see what you've done!
	You've cut Democracy down like the evening sun!
	Is there a doctor to be found
	To cure us of our deep and deadly wound?


*** HEATHER COX RICHARDSON enters ***

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

	Yes, there's a doctor to be found
	But I alone can't cure this wound
	I, Heather Cox Richardson, speak hard truths 
	To drown out evil leaders
	But those who cure Democracy 
	Shall be among my readers!

QANON SHAMAN

	The tweets that guided me 
	Have suddenly been silenced
	It's time to remove my funny hat 
	And renounce my former violence!

*** BETTY & ISAAC enter with six swords ***

BETTY & ISAAC

	Texting voters is but one way 
	To keep Democracy enduring
	We've also got experience 
	As volunteers ballot curing

*** Betty, Isaac, Jon, The Rev, QAnon Shaman, and HCR form a lock and hold swords aloft ***

ALL

	Arise! Arise!
	I see the future in your eyes
	To a more perfect union we aspire
	And lift our voices from the fire

*** DEMOCRACY rises ***

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

	My country, when justice is gone,
	In our darkest hour, hope lingers on!

ALL SING Hope Lingers On

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