Montague Plough Monday PLAY

(written by Will Quale,
performed by the Montague Mummers, Plough Monday 2021)

(with thanks to Piers & Gil Cawley, Rodney Atkins, Jean Rohe,
Saro Lynch-Thomason, and Lissa Schneckenburger for their songs)

*** BETTY, a Child of the Library, & ISAAC, a Friend with Tractor, enter *** BETTY & ISAAC Room, room, brave gallants, make room for us today 'Tis every day we sing, but once a year we give a play BETTY In comes I, a Child of the Library Now and forevermore My library teaches you about freedom, So don't say you can't afford it anymore! ISAAC And passing through from out of town, In comes I, your Friend With Tractor Whatever trouble you're in, I'll pull you out and give you a happily ever after! BETTY & ISAAC But if you don't believe what we say, Enter our Democracy and clear the way!
*** DEMOCRACY enters, wearing a bathrobe & carrying a ballot box *** DEMOCRACY Here I stand in Washington, With my box of votes I represent all the people, No matter how much that White Russian gloats Change is coming to Washington, As soon new Senators come a-ridin' The votes in my ballot box are certified, And those votes say The Dude's A-Biden! *** JON & THE REVEREND, Senators, enter carrying signs *** JON & THE REVEREND To Washington we come, heroes bold and triumphant The people of Georgia have chosen us over their two incumbents! JON John Lewis was my mentor When I was but seventeen Now I return to Washington as Senator Jon, As our new Congress convenes THE REVEREND And as the pastor to John Lewis, I helped guide him on his way But his spirit guides me ever onwards As a Senator today JON & THE REVEREND Our great responsibility To be guardians of our liberty 'Til tyrants bow to the people's dream And justice flows like a mighty stream
*** QANON SHAMAN enters wearing a horned hat & carrying a sign *** QANON SHAMAN Stop the steal! Stop the steal! To Washington will I come on, A terrifying buffalo faux-viking clown, A fascist shaman from QAnon! I follow my leader's every tweet And I'll make those ballots into mince pies to eat! ALL (except Shaman) Mince pies baked, mince pies fried, He'll try to kill the ballots though they've all been certified! *** THEY FIGHT : well away from DEMOCRACY *** JON and THE REVEREND We will wade through the waters! *** THEY FIGHT : moving closer to DEMOCRACY *** JON and THE REVEREND We will walk through the fires! *** THEY FIGHT : moving still closer to DEMOCRACY *** JON and THE REVEREND We will rebuild the mountains! *** QANON SHAMAN strikes DEMOCRACY *** QANON SHAMAN There are more waters rising! JON and THE REVEREND Horrible, terrible, see what you've done! You've cut Democracy down like the evening sun! Is there a doctor to be found To cure us of our deep and deadly wound?
*** HEATHER COX RICHARDSON enters *** HEATHER COX RICHARDSON Yes, there's a doctor to be found But I alone can't cure this wound I, Heather Cox Richardson, speak hard truths To drown out evil leaders But those who cure Democracy Shall be among my readers! QANON SHAMAN The tweets that guided me Have suddenly been silenced It's time to remove my funny hat And renounce my former violence! *** BETTY & ISAAC enter with six swords *** BETTY & ISAAC Texting voters is but one way To keep Democracy enduring We've also got experience As volunteers ballot curing *** Betty, Isaac, Jon, The Rev, QAnon Shaman, and HCR form a lock and hold swords aloft *** ALL Arise! Arise! I see the future in your eyes To a more perfect union we aspire And lift our voices from the fire *** DEMOCRACY rises *** HEATHER COX RICHARDSON My country, when justice is gone, In our darkest hour, hope lingers on! ALL SING Hope Lingers On

link for more info