(original by Bert Weston and Bob Lee,
updated by Nell Wright)

A millennial sat 
in his open studio flat 
  in weather oh so dreary.
He took a sip 
of his latte, just a drip, 
  and he spoke to his servant Siri.
"Help me, help me, Siri, 
I have a complicated query, 
  'cause ...

	All I want is a proper cup of coffee
	  made in a proper copper coffee pot
	I may be off my dot, but I 
	  want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot.
	Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they 
	  are no use to me. If I 
	can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper 
	  coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea."

In the very same abode, 
a fashionista bold, 
  got bored with vamping for tiktok.
She grabbed her girlfriend's arm, 
and using all her charm 
  said, "Come on, it's time for a quick walk.
You know, you know, what I meano? 
I need a cappucino. 
  'cause ...

	All I want ..."
One day upon the stage, 
a soprano grew enraged 
  and brought the show to a dead halt.
The conductor waved his stick, 
but she looked really ticked 
  and said it was really his fault.
Using her best vibrato, 
she demanded a macchiato. 
  'cause ...

	"All I want ..."
When classes empty out, 
the freshmen lie about, 
  discussing the best kind of cold brew,
With cell phones in their hand, 
the loudest then demand 
  a visit to a coffe venue.
"Let’s not go to Starbuck's, 
all the coffee there sucks.
  'cause ...
	All I want ..."

recording: Trout Fishing in America (1998) (with original music hall verses) [YouTube]

background: song history and original lyrics [Folk Song and Music Hall]